Ruts and Inspiration

I've been feeling a bit baseless these past few weeks. I recently uprooted myself, moving to Oregon for three months to get some perspective and complete a third album, and I'm spending significantly more time working on music than I have in years, but thus far I feel a sense emptiness and indifference to the ideas I've been coming up with.

My response to this problem has so far been to force myself to continue "working" as long as possible before eventually collapsing into some mostly mindless activity (watching a movie, browsing the internet, etc) which I immediately make myself feel guilty about. "I've come all this way, spent all this time and energy to be in this space and write my masterpiece!" You can imagine the internal monologue.

I've been doing this long enough to know that you can't force inspiration and that the vibe will eventually return, but it's a disheartening process nonetheless. Thankfully, I just happened across this short essay:

Chasing Inspiration by Tarakith

In it, the author identifies exactly the experience I'm going through and outlines a few ideas for dealing with it. All of his strategies are good ones, and, despite the fact that pretty much every creative person I've spoken to has gone through a similar rut, it's reassuring to be reminded that I'm indeed not alone in this affliction.

While this essay is oriented towards music makers, many of the ideas apply to the creative process in general. If you've ever felt lost and helpless in the creation of your art, this is a highly recommended read.

It's All ___hill From Here

Am I the only one that gets confused by the conflicting metaphors in statements like "it's all downhill from here?" I just can't figure out if that sentence means that things are going to get easier (ease as physical effort) or harder (ease as height)... though maybe it's just a clever acknowledgement of the uncertainty of future events. What a head trip.

No groundbreaking new tracks today, though certainly not for a lack of effort on my part. I have a couple of new things in the works, but I'm starting to hit a (also metaphorical, hey!) wall again. Songs that initially sounded really good to me sound mediocre after listen nine-thousand and two, and I can't stop second guessing myself on just about everything: instrumentation, arrangement, melody... it's a deep, dark hole, and there aren't even any interesting bugs to play with. I know that I've got to take a step back from these tunes if I'm ever going to feel inspired to finish them, but I don't want to let them out of my consciousness for too long or I might never come back to finish the job!

Really though, I think I just need to stop for a minute and listen to some music that ISN'T by me.

This seems to happen a lot- I go on these kicks where the only thing I hear for days on end is the stuff that I'm in the process of creating. It's dangerous! Forgive the metaphor (yeah, another one), but it feels a little like drinking your own urine in the desert- you can do it for a while, but eventually it's going to do more harm than good. OK, maybe I shouldn't have just compared writing music to drinking my own pee... it's all downhill as soon as you start making comparisons like that!

Ahhg! See what this rut is doing to my delicate mind!? I've gotta get out of my own head so that I can fill my inspirational reservoirs and get back on track! It's been forever since I went out in search of new music- what the hell is going on out there anyway? Could I really be so out of touch?!

Please send me care packages of new good music to save me from myself! Hurry, before I end up in heart-wrenching black and white footage on a late-night infomercial for Save The Stuck Musicians. Though I kinda want to see that now.

So anyway- yeah, a little stuck right now, but it's probably not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Still no bandname though... so far nothing has really resonated with me. I appreciate the suggestions though! Keep 'em coming if it pleases you. Maybe a name would help me refocus! Or maybe I just need a new instrument.

Wish me luck.